ADA's Golden Cross Gets Rugged by a Bear Suit as Traders Get Rekt En Masse

Crypto markets decided to test the floor on Thursday, taking their cues from a synchronized belly flop in U.S. equities and shiny rocks. With Nasdaq futures slipping and crypto futures open interest shedding 3.5% to a mere $108 billion, funding rates went negative—a clear sign the degens were piling into shorts faster than a VC dumps tokens.

Cardano's ADA joined the pity party, shedding 6.06% to trade at a cool $0.2584. The cosmic joke? A textbook golden cross formed on its hourly chart mid-plunge, with the 50 MA crossing above the 200 MA. It was the ultimate bear market bait-and-switch, a bullish signal that showed up to the party dressed entirely in fur and claws, ready to liquidate any hopium-fueled bulls.

ADA's spot trading volume dipped 18%, indicating everyone was either hiding in a stablecoin bunker or had their hands firmly off their keyboards. Across the crypto casino, a not-so-fun $253 million in positions got vaporized. Longs took the mother of all haircuts at $203 million, while shorts only had to part with a comparatively modest $50 million—proof that even the bears weren't completely safe.

Most altcoins are still stuck in the same soul-crushing range they've been in since early February, despite a few pathetic breakout attempts. The average ADA bagholder from the last year is currently nursing a 43% papercut, technically placing the token in an on-chain "opportunity zone." That's crypto-speak for "it can't possibly get much worse, right?"

Peeking under the hood at derivatives data shows ADA funding rates are the most negative they've been since June 2023. This screams that the short trade is more crowded than a Telegram group during a presale, setting the stage for a potential short squeeze that could send bears running for cover faster than you can say "inverse Cramer."

In a rare glimmer of actual utility news, the U.K.'s regulated Monument Bank plans to tokenize up to £250 million of retail deposits on the Midnight network. That's Cardano's privacy-focused sidechain, for those keeping score. This move is being hailed as one of the first times a regulated bank has dared to use a public blockchain for this purpose—a small step for banking, a giant leap for ADA-hopium.