Stablecoin Yield Deal Gets Zero HODLers of Approval

Senators Angela Alsobrooks (D-Md.) and Thom Tillis (R-N.C.) dropped their agreement-in-principle on stablecoin yield last week, and apparently convincing crypto natives that you know what you're doing is harder than getting your grandma to download a hardware wallet. Spoiler: they didn't manage it. Pretty much everyone in the room left looking like they'd just watched someone explain blockchain to their non-crypto family member at Thanksgiving—polite nodding, glazed eyes, and a deep sense of existential confusion about how we got here.

Crypto and banking industry representatives got eyes on the proposed language on March 23 and 24. Crypto folks met with legislative staffers on Monday; banking folks on Tuesday. You know the old saying—give a degen regulatory text and they'll read it until 3am with seventeen browser tabs open. Give a banker the same text and they'll schedule three follow-up meetings about it. Neither group walked away pleased, which in Washington terms means this is either a masterpiece of bipartisan compromise or an absolute disaster. Given the track record