Green Candle Hype: Bitcoin's March 1.84% Gain Could Barely Buy a Pizza in 2010

Bitcoin finally broke its five-month losing streak, posting a green monthly candle in March. The bulls managed an eyebrow-raising 1.84% gain over the month—a truly earth-shattering return that will surely pay off your student loans any day now. Some are calling this the most exciting 1.84% since the last 1.84%, and honestly, they're not wrong.

The leading cryptocurrency had traders getting nostalgic mid-March when Bitcoin hit a multi-week high of $76,013 on March 15. The community collectively daydreamed about the $80,000 level, that sweet psychological milestone we've been circling like sharks who've forgotten how to swim. Unfortunately, momentum had other plans. By month's end, $BTC had dropped back below $65,000, because why would anything in crypto be straightforward? That would imply we've learned something from 47 previous cycles.

The bears have been running the show since the legendary "Uptober" turned out to be more of a "Dump-tober." Bitcoin did reach its all-time high of $126,080 during that infamously hyped month, but the subsequent sell-off in November had bulls capitulating faster than you can say "diamond hands." The phrase "to the moon" started appearing in group chats with a desperation usually reserved for people searching for their keys at 2 AM.

February was particularly brutal—a massive red candle with a long lower wick sent the price careening down to test the $60,000 support level. That area has apparently decided to be the floor for now, though "for now" in crypto is a famously flexible concept, kind of like your New Year's resolutions. Strong support, they said. Bullish divergence, they said.

So here we are: five consecutive red monthly closes, followed by a tiny green body that looks like a doji having an identity crisis. Whether the tables have turned or we're just getting a brief respite before the next chapter of chaos remains to be seen.