Bitcoin Can't Commit to $73K But Bulls Are Already Shouting $80K From the Rooftops

Bitcoin touched $73,000 briefly on Thursday before bouncing back to around $72,000, recovering from an early sell-off tied to geopolitical headlines. Not exactly the romantic commitment bulls were hoping for, but the options market is already making eyes at $80K—June expiry contracts at that strike are seeing over $1.6 billion in open interest, a clean 10% move from current levels. Apparently BTC likes to tease like a situationship that texts back at 2am.

Speaking of ambitious targets, Strategy's STRC preferred shares had another monster day with over 3 million shares changing hands, generating roughly $144 million to purchase 2,000+ Bitcoin. Wednesday saw similar numbers, and historically these totals keep climbing until the dividend cutoff date next Wednesday. Three more days of this before anyone gets to relax. It's giving "buy the dip" energy, but make it a corporate recurring order.

Galaxy Digital dropped its 2025 annual report and the headline was brutal: $241 million net loss. Buried underneath though? Their Digital Assets segment pumped out $505 million in adjusted gross profit. GLXY closed up 11.3%, the second-best crypto equity on the day. Turns out "we lost money" hits different when you immediately follow it with "but like, on purpose, for tax reasons."

Mike Novogratz isn't selling a trading story anymore—it's an AI infrastructure thesis now. Galaxy's Helios campus, once one of North America's largest Bitcoin mines, is an 800-megawatt facility fully leased to CoreWeave and set to start generating compute revenue in 2026. "The most consequential shift right now is the move from narrative to infrastructure," he wrote. Apparently BTC mining was just the prologue. Plot twist nobody saw coming.

Potential acquirers are circling Gemini, though probably not in the way Cameron and Tyler would prefer. Per CoinDesk, interested parties are evaluating the purchase of Gemini's shuttered EU and UK operations specifically to grab MiCA and FCA regulatory licenses. A full takeover? Not on anyone's radar. "Yes, we want your house, just not the part where people actually live."

For context on why you'd want those licenses: Gemini IPO'd at $28 in September 2025 and now trades around $4.70, down 83%. The company cut 25% of its workforce in February, exited the EU, UK, and Australia, lost three senior executives, and faces a shareholder class-action lawsuit from March. The stock did jump 11% on acquisition chatter, but already gave back some of those gains. It's giving "found money" energy—a 2008 Camry with a fresh coat of paint.

Treasury Secretary Bessent made his most direct push yet Thursday urging the Senate to pass the Clarity Act and resolve the stablecoin yield dispute. This came one day after the White House Council of Economic Advisers did the math on the banking lobby's argument and found a yield ban would boost lending by just $2.1 billion—a 0.02% increase. Brian Armstrong chimed in Thursday night with "It's time to pass the Clarity Act," aligning with Bessent. The political momentum seems to be building. Meanwhile, TradFi is over here arguing that giving stablecoins 4% yields would destroy civilization.

Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier launched a formal investigation into OpenAI and ChatGPT Thursday, citing the chatbot's alleged role in the April