Iran Says "No Fiat Allowed" in the Strait of Hormuz, Accepts Only Bitcoin for Oil Tanker Tolls

In a move that would make any degen proud, Iran has mandated that all vessels navigating the Strait of Hormuz settle their transit fees exclusively in Bitcoin. The Islamic Republic apparently looked at the global financial system, shrugged, and decided to go full cypherpunk. This policy shift could meaningfully impact demand for the flagship cryptocurrency—because nothing says "we mean business" like forcing oil tankers to run a lightning node before passing through.

On the technical front, $BTC has been grinding upward for almost two weeks now. The sustained recovery has carved out a bullish chart pattern, with analysts pointing to $86,000 as the next stop on the roadmap. Because apparently, after all the sideways action, bulls decided it's time to stop asking "when lambo" and start asking "when $86k." The chart is screaming, but in a calm, technically sound manner.