Zombie Portfolio Alert: Three Crypto Stocks That Got Decimated 90% and Now Want to Fight Bitcoin ETFs

Remember when "not your keys, not your coins" was the only thing getting absolutely wrecked more than these treasury stocks? Well, after digital asset companies Nakamoto (NAKA), Sharplink Gaming (SBET), and Strive (ASST) took a 90%+ haircut that would make even the most hardened degen flinch, TD Cowen's Lance Vitanza is stepping in like a rescue squad with a flashlight and a questionable sense of timing. He's seeing value here, arguing each could moon harder than spot crypto ETFs if prices bounce back and these firms keep stacking tokens on a per-share basis. Bold claims from companies that made BTC look like a blue-chip in comparison.

Nakamoto Holdings Vitanza kicked off coverage of Nakamoto (NAKA) with a Buy rating and a $1.00 price target, which if you're scoring at home, is nearly a five-bagger from the current price of $0.21. We're talking about a company that went from "next big thing" to "pumping the breaks, hard." His target assumes estimated bitcoin dollar gains of $394 million for fiscal 2027, a 2x multiple, and a bitcoin price hovering around $140,000 by end of 2026. He noted Nakamoto distinguishes itself among public bitcoin treasury companies by mixing direct bitcoin accumulation with minority stakes in overseas treasury operations like Metaplanet and Treasury BV. The cherry on top? Operating businesses in media, bitcoin advocacy, and digital asset management, which apparently create "distinct synergy potential." Nothing says "trust me bro" like buzzword synergies from a company that just survived a crypto winter apocalypse.

SharpLink Gaming Starting SharpLink Gaming (SBET) with a Buy rating and a $16 price target, Vitanza sees dollar gains of $93 million for fiscal 2026, a 2x multiple, and an ether price around $3,650 by December 2026. SBET closed Thursday at $6.42, because nothing says "undervalued opportunity" quite like a ticker that's been through a blender. He described SharpLink, led by ex-BlackRock head of digital assets Joseph Chalom and Ethereum co-founder Joseph Lubin, as an Ethereum treasury company hunting ether per share growth through treasury operations and staking. Vitanza reckons the company might deliver better staking yield than spot ether ETPs since fund investors are already absorbing fees, and many products can't stake a meaningful chunk of their holdings anyway. His argument? Even if ether keeps limping along, staking income should cover operating costs. Imagine being so confident in your yield that you can casually shrug off a 60% ETH drawdown—that's either genius or cope, time will tell.

Strive Vitanza initiated Strive (ASST) with a Buy rating and a $26 price target, nearly triple today's closing price of $9.64. The man is either brave or absolutely feral for calling this one. He tied that target to estimated bitcoin dollar gains of $142 million for fiscal 2026, a 2x multiple, and bitcoin at roughly $140,000 by year-end 2026. He pointed out Strive is the first public bitcoin treasury company to acquire another one, citing its January 2026 purchase of Semler Scientific. Vitanza