Bitcoin Hits Snooze Button at $73K While Diplomats Debatel in Islamabad

Bitcoin is hanging out below $73,000 on Saturday, down a whopping 0.2% in 24 hours, because apparently even crypto can't be bothered to care about high-level talks. U.S. and Iranian officials kicked off negotiations in Islamabad while the broader crypto market decided to take a nap. Meanwhile, your uncle is still asking when Bitcoin will "actually go up."

The market actually had a decent week after a two-week ceasefire announcement triggered a derivatives short squeeze that liquidated over $430 million in bearish positions. Someone's weekend is ruined. Somewhere, a degen is staring at their liquidated position like a dog who's been caught chewing on the couch.

The CoinDesk 20 index was up roughly 0.12% over the past 24 hours, while Ethereum (ETH) climbed about 0.1%. Other major cryptocurrencies saw similarly tiny moves—the kind of price action that makes day traders question their life choices. We're talking movements so small you'd need a microscope and a prayer to profit.

The U.S.-Iran truce is looking about as stable as a Jenga tower, with Israel still bombing Lebanon and Iran announcing it'll start charging ships a toll to pass through the Strait of Hormuz. President Donald Trump was not thrilled about that one. Nobody likes unexpected tolls, especially when they're trying to flex geopolitical muscle.

According to CNN, Vice President J.D. Vance, special envoy Steve Witkoff, and Jared Kushner—who technically doesn't hold a government position but is Trump's son-in-law so here we are—are leading the U.S. delegation. It's like showing up to a potluck and bringing your brother-in-law who "really knows about wine."

Iran's team includes Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi and Parliament Speaker Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf, per The New York Times. Pakistan is playing third wheel to this geopolitical relationship. Awkward.

Some ships managed to pass through the Strait of Hormuz on Saturday, which is good because traffic through that vital maritime route basically collapsed when U.S. strikes on Iran started at the end of February. Supply chains everywhere collectively exhaled.