SpaceX HODLs Through a $5B Loss Like a True Degen While the Rest of Corporate America Panic-Sells Their Lambo Dreams

SpaceX is currently nursing 8,285 bitcoins—worth a cool $603 million—like a proud crypto dad at a block party, even as it stares down a $5 billion loss in 2025. The rocket-fueled giant hasn’t touched its stash, which lives snugly in Coinbase Prime custody, according to Arkham Intelligence and The Information. That’s right: while others are stress-sweating their balance sheets, SpaceX is out here treating BTC like a vintage vinyl collection—untouchable, analog, and somehow still appreciating.

Last year, the company was printing money like it was Bitcoin 2021, pulling in $8 billion in profit from $15–16 billion in sales. Its BTC stack? Rock solid since mid-2024, though it briefly flexed a $1.6 billion high during bitcoin’s October 2025 moonshot. Peak net worth, peak vibes—then back to business.

Now, SpaceX proudly sits as the fourth-largest known corporate bitcoin holder, trailing only the unholy trinity of Strategy, Marathon Digital, and Riot Platforms. It’s not just building rockets—it’s building a balance sheet that laughs at P/E ratios and worships hash rates.

The company dropped an IPO bombshell last month, meaning it’ll soon have to parade its BTC holdings in front of auditors, regulators, and that one uncle who still thinks blockchain is a skin condition. Thanks to the new FASB rules that went live in late 2025, accounting for bitcoin just got spicy—like trying to explain memecoins to a CFO using only Excel.

Anthony Scaramucci, ever the prophet of on-chain revival, called it a watershed moment. “Everyone will soon have Bitcoin on their corporate balance sheet,” he declared, anointing SpaceX as the ultimate proof-of-concept for corporate self-custody. If Elon says “hold,” apparently the universe listens—even when the P&L looks like a typo.

One company is basically the entire show

Public and private firms collectively scooped up 47,435 bitcoins in March—about $3.2 billion worth, give or take a few pizzas. But here’s the plot twist: nearly all of it was Michael Saylor’s Strategy playing a high-stakes game of solitaire. The company bought 44,377 bitcoins that month alone, including a $1.57 billion shopping spree on March 16 funded by selling STRC preferred shares and MSTR common stock. At this point, Strategy isn’t just a player—it’s the whole damn casino.

Now sitting on roughly 762,000 bitcoins, the company holds two-thirds of all corporate BTC across public firms. To call them dominant would be like calling Bitcoin “a little volatile.” Accurate, but missing the scale of the madness.

Outside of Strategy’s relentless accumulation, corporate enthusiasm for bitcoin is looking more like a lukewarm bath than a bull run. Public companies went ham last summer, but since October, purchases have flatlined and sales have ticked up. In March, only 16 companies bought bitcoin—fewer than the number of people who still believe Dogecoin is a hedge fund.

Ryan Strauss from the Bitcoin Consulting Group didn’t mince words: the numbers expose “how structurally dependent headline holdings growth is on Strategy.” Strip them out, and you’re left with “clear deceleration” and “a broad cooling in corporate conviction.” In other words, the emperor might be naked—and he’s shivering in a hoodie.

Kraken gets direct Fed access

Kraken just leveled up its financial ops by securing a Federal Reserve master account, meaning it can now settle USD transactions directly on Fedwire—no legacy bank middlemen required. The exchange pulled this off via a Special Purpose Depository Institution charter from Wyoming, because of course it did. The state’s basically the Wild West of crypto banking, complete with digital sheriffs and no KYC tumbleweeds.

Needless to say, the old guard isn’t thrilled. The Independent Community Bankers of America and 42 state banking associations are currently drafting strongly worded tweets, while Rep. Maxine Waters asked the Kansas City Fed to explain its legal justification. Translation: “How dare you skip the gatekeepers?”

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