SpaceX's 8,285 BTC Sit Through $5B Storm Untouchable Since 2024 — Scaramucci Says Corporate Bitcoin 'Inevitable'

Anthony Scaramucci, the man who once described Bitcoin as "digital gold" and then watched it dump 40% before lunch, has reached a verdict: corporate Bitcoin adoption is basically written in the Bitcoin blockchain code now.

His smoking gun? SpaceX, the company that literally launches rockets, apparently looked at a $5 billion loss and thought "nah, we'll just HODL through this one." Arkham Intelligence and The Information are reporting SpaceX is sitting on exactly 8,285 BTC — good for over $600 million at current prices. And get this: not a single satoshi has moved since mid-2024. The Bitcoin equivalent of a zen monk watching his portfolio bleed.

Here's where it gets spicy. SpaceX pulled in $18.5 billion in revenue for 2025. Sounds great, right? Well, their AI baby xAI apparently has an appetite for cash that would make a degen trader blush, because losses there completely devoured those sales. $5 billion gone. Gone like a crypto influencer's credibility after a rug pull. But the Bitcoin? Untouched. The sacred sats remained sacred.

"Everyone will soon have Bitcoin on their corporate balance sheet," Scaramucci declared, apparently channeling Nostradamus but with better suits. He's pointing at SpaceX like it's the Mona Lisa of corporate treasury strategy — proof that when you believe in the asset, you don't flinch when your AI side project burns through billions.

Fun plot twist: SpaceX was stacking sats in secret before Tesla even got in the game. On-chain data shows their first purchase landed on Dec. 31 — because of course, even their buying strategy is slightly chaotic. Elon publicly confirmed the purchase in 2021, casually dropping that he also holds Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Dogecoin like a man who just yolo'd his lunch money across