Iran Says 'No Port Safe,' Bitcoin Just YOLO's Back to $72K Anyway

Bitcoin decided to stop doom-scrolling and hit refresh, climbing back to $72,100 during U.S. Monday morning trading after touching $70,500 on Sunday. The weekend saw red candles galore as the slide kicked off Saturday night after Vice President J.D. Vance left Pakistan without a peace treaty with Iran in his back pocket—or anywhere near it.

Good news, apparently, is that Iran might be thinking about ditching enriched uranium as a peace offering. Markets apparently like this more than they like carrier groups in the Gulf. U.S. equities also staged a comeback after earlier bleeding red, with the Nasdaq now up 0.3% after getting dunked on by more than 1% earlier.

The much-anticipated U.S. blockade of the Strait of Hormuz apparently went live as scheduled at 10 am ET, because nothing says "diplomatic progress" like shipping lane intimidation. Iran's military and Revolutionary Guards were not subtle about it: "Security in the Persian Gulf and the Sea of Oman is either for everyone or for NO ONE," they posted Monday. "NO PORT in the region will be safe." Cool, cool. Just normal geopolitical Monday stuff.

In related news, crypto-adjacent stocks decided they wanted in on the green candle energy. Circle (CRCL) took the lead at +8.3%, because stablecoins apparently need