Strategy’s Bitcoin Stack Nears 781K—Just 9K Away from Dethroning BlackRock’s ETF (No, Really)

Strategy dropped another cool billion into Bitcoin last week—their biggest flex since the crypto gods last blinked—sending their all-time stack to roughly 781,000 BTC. That’s a 1.8% weekly gain, which in Bitcoin terms means they didn’t just dodge a bullet, they bought the whole ammo dump.

At today’s price tag of ~$70,900 per coin, their treasure chest now glows at a radiant $55.3 billion, per CoinGecko. Not bad for a company that, by day, sells software nobody talks about. The real kicker? They’re now just 9,000 BTC shy of BlackRock’s spot ETF crown, which sits on an estimated 790,000 BTC, according to CoinGlass. At this rate, it’s not if Strategy overtakes the ETF giant, it’s whether they’ll send a meme to celebrate.

The latest 14,000 BTC haul was funded entirely through their preferred share magic trick, STRC—the financial equivalent of printing money while paying 11.5% monthly dividends. While common shares have taken a 57% nosedive over six months (ouch), STRC has raised a jaw-dropping $3.55 billion since its July debut, blowing past its $2.5 billion IPO target like it was standing still.

Strategy’s stock, though, decided to throw a little tantrum, dipping 2.5% to $125.50 post-Monday open, according to Yahoo Finance. Because nothing says “we’re all-in on digital gold” like the market rewarding you with a polite yawn.

Never one to miss a teachable moment, Michael Saylor hit X on Sunday with a spreadsheet so hot it could melt a GPU. He broke down the BTC Breakeven ARR: 2.05%. “If Bitcoin grows faster than that over time,” he mused, “we can keep paying dividends until the heat death of the universe—no new $MSTR shares needed.” A bold claim, but in Bitcoin land, audacity pays dividends.

Currently, Strategy owes $1.2 billion in annual dividend fireworks. To ensure they’re not just a Ponzi with better vibes, they stashed $2.25 billion in cash reserves last year—basically a financial panic room in case the market decides to go full degen meltdown.

TD Cowen, ever the buzzkill, trimmed their price target to $350 from $440, citing a softer Bitcoin forecast. But—and this is important—they still slapped on a "Buy" rating, like a parent saying “you’re grounded” while slipping you cash for the club.

On prediction market Myriad, degens have been placing bets like it’s the Kentucky Derby. The odds of Strategy selling any BTC in 2026? Now priced at just 12%, down from 18% a month ago. In crypto logic, that’s not just confidence—it’s a full-blown cult of hold.