Power Level Up: Coinbase's Policy Boss Goes Full Skibidi Toilet, Trades Crypto Regulation for AI Handholding

Tom Duff Gordon, Coinbase's VP of international policy, has apparently decided that AI needs more regulatory handholding than an asset class that's basically a regulatory piñata. After nearly 4 years navigating the wild world of cryptocurrency compliance—a place where regulators move like gas and users move like degen option buyers—Duff Gordon is joining OpenAI as head of EMEA Policy. The man is about to explain to artificial intelligence what "know your customer" actually means.

Prior to his Coinbase tenure, the man spent 8.5 years as a banker at Credit Suisse—because apparently, you can't fully understand crypto regulation without first understanding traditional finance. And also because some people just need to see how a financial system properly implodes before they can appreciate the chaotic charm of everything else. Credit Suisse: where wealth management goes to get absolutely wrecked.

Duff Gordon, an avowed expert on crypto regulations, has been vocal about U.K. banks blocking millions of customers from accessing legal, compliant services. His particular grievance? Banks apparently can't tell the difference between FCA-registered firms with low fraud rates and sketchier operators. It's the financial equivalent of your Tinder date not being able to distinguish between a whale wallet and a rug pull.

Maybe he'll bring that same energy to telling AI companies what not to do. Or at minimum, help them figure out how to explain why their model keeps generating pictures of hands with six fingers. Progress.

He did not immediately respond to requests for comment, likely too busy updating his LinkedIn and figuring out which conference to keynote first. Word on the street is he's already drafting a thread about the regulatory parallels between chatbots and chaos coins. Watch this space—or don't. We're all just vibing here anyway.